UGN

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

2007-09-23T14:25:00.001-07:00

If anyone still comes around here, you must be shocked that there is a new post.

I thought I would finally resurface long enough to tell people where the heck I am and what I'm doing these days.

The simple explanation is that I just got out of the habit of blogging. I find that once I stop doing something, it is hard to get started again. I only wish breaking bad habits was as easy.

The longer explanation is that once I was fully engulfed in putting on Oklahoma!, I slowed down dramatically. I had for a few months posted at least once a day. When the streak was broken, I felt the freedom to let go a little bit.

I love blogging and reading blogs, but it was consuming too much time. It wasn't really school starting up because I was blogging regularly when I was teaching AND taking classes of my own.

I just stopped and couldn't get going again.

One of the barriers to restarting is that I am currently assistant director for our next show here at Riverbank Community Theater. We are doing A Christmas Story and I am not only doing all the publicity stuff I did for past shows, but I am going to be at practice four nights a week.

You can see why I didn't jump right back into blogging!

Finally, I am sorry that I left all of you hanging for so long. Not only have I not been on my own blog, but I haven't been on any of yours much either. For some reason, Blogger doesn't give me email notifications when you comment me either. I can't find anyone who knows what happened with this and it is very frustrating.

I am thankful for my blogging friends who came looking for me; sorry that I didn't even know that you called until now. Maybe one day I will get that fire going again, but until then, Global Warming is a scam. (Oh, God Bless and happy blogging!)

Unbelievable Story (Really)

2007-08-16T00:02:00.000-07:00

I thought we were toast.

I mentioned a couple of days ago that my family and I were deeply immersed in a presentation of Oklahoma! for the local theater my wife founded.

We were almost immersed in deep doo-doo too, when a speaker got knocked over and semi-fell on some people in the front row.

I got a call today from a lady who said she was sitting there when it fell. You tell me how much it sounded like we were about to be sued like there was no tomorrow:

*Two days after the show she calls and says that her 11-year-old sister was hit by the speaker stand and had her arm bruised.

*She wants to know who is ultimately responsible and was especially interested in finding out if the city was liable.

*She mentions a lawsuit for the bumps and bruises, but says they aren't the suing type of people.

*She says that all of that might be overlooked "because accidents happen", but the speaker smacked her hand and knocked her diamond out of her engagement ring. It had great sentimental value.

*By her email address I can see that she works for a local personal injury attorney.

*She seemed to have three different names.

After spending two hours finding out as much as I could about this woman and getting my ducks in a row, my wife and I decided to go down to the theater to look for the diamond. Mind you, we didn't think there really was a diamond in the first place, but we had nothing else we could do.

Now you all have no idea the turbulence our little theater has been through, but suffice it to say, times have been rough. This show is a huge triumph for us at a time were it is sorely needed.

When I first told my wife that I got the call, she immediately began to pray and called others to pray that the little theater that could could weather this storm.

One of the cast members was at our house and we asked her to pray as we set off to look for a diamond. My wife specifically prayed on the drive over that we would walk right in and find the diamond and that it would prove to be an encouraging testimony to the that cast member who is a new Christian.

Here is how it went when we got to the theater:

We get let in by the owner of the restaurant in the front of the building who was just leaving for the afternoon. I disarm the alarm and we walk through the kitchen to enter the theater.

My wife sees that the carpet runners we have covering wires near the front row still have lots of straw on them and it appears that we didn't do a thourough job sweeping because of those runners.

She puts her purse down on the chair next to the speaker that fell, looks down at seat next to that, points to the seat and says, "Dear, what is that?"

I step closer and look down to see a DIAMOND right there on the seat! It was a tiny diamond that I can't imagine could have been seen if it were on the floor.

We were screaming and yelling like you couldn't believe! What a miracle!

I called the lady and she was just stunned. As of this writing we are going to make arrangements to get her ring repaired and returned to her!

God is good!

Inspired by Jon and Charlene

2007-08-14T12:16:00.000-07:00

I was over at Chimeric Daydreams again and Jon has once again managed to distract me from my appointed daily tasks. This time he pointed me in the direction of Charlene's photo blog and that distraction caused me to revisit some photos I had taken the other day to see if I could do something artistic with them.

I am sure that Jon and Charlene could really make something of this little shack that is actually an active business in my town. I had my eye on photographing it for months because it has so much character. I wish it wasn't in an ally so that I could get it better in the morning light.

What do you guys think: do you like it better in black and white or in color? In both of them I increased the contrast, and in the color one I increased the red saturation.

Letting the Bedbugs Bite

2007-08-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

Question: What do bedbug infestations in Southern California and millions of malaria deaths in third-world countries have in common?

Answer: Both are the fault of the environmental movement.

Today's L.A. Times has an article on the tremendous rise in the number of homes needing treatment for bedbugs. Nestled among the icky details is mention that the blood-sucking parasite was once thought to be wiped out--then we banned DDT based on environmental hysteria.

If you read the article, you'll also find out that we don't really have any decent chemicals anymore for combating such pests; DDT worked, but it was banned in 1972 in large part due to Rachal Carson's 1962 book, Silent Spring.

Millions have died from malaria since the DDT ban also. Don't take my word for it, look it up. I have to go check for bedbugs before turning in.

I have been Oklahoma!-ed

2007-08-13T00:30:00.000-07:00

I am having a hard time getting back into the swing of posting because my life the past two weeks has been dominated by my participation in Oklahoma! for the community theater my wife founded.

As much work as I/we have been doing, it is amazing how much it seems worth it when you have sold-out shows and a wonderful cast and crew.

I wish all of my online friends could see what a fabulous show this little podunk community theater with no money has turned out. What a rush!

A question though: who is going to come see classic old musicals like Oklahoma! when the current crop of seniors passes on? Other than friends and family of the cast and crew, the vast majority of our patrons are elderly.

A First for me

2007-08-08T01:11:00.000-07:00

I almost missed this because I don't think he followed rule number four, but Jon tagged me and now I must come up with 8 things about me. Before I proceed, here are the rules as they have been passed down.

The Rules of this tag:

Link to your tagger and post these rules.
List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
Tag eight people at the end of your post and list them (linking to them).
Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

1. My mind gets hung up on certain things and I have a hard time letting them go; for instance, why is it 8 things instead of, say, 5 or 10?

2. I often limp in the morning because my feet hurt because I pick the skin off my heals and chew it. Sometimes I get too much skin.

3. I am incredibly lazy, but when I am "on the clock" at work, I am a machine and harbor a secret fear that someone would say that I am not a hard worker.

4. I worry a lot about what people think, and I think the world would be better off if more people did.

5. I am a perfectionist and extremely anal about things, but once things get out of control due to other's inattention, I let things go until I finally can't take it anymore.

6. I hate meetings and usually don't say anything in them because that would just prolong things.

7. I always over-estimate how long a task will take. I balance out the more optimistic estimates.

8. In general, people really annoy me, but people who meet me find me friendly and fun-loving.

I tag:
Shari
Rita
Laura
Geeks News Week
Incognito
Internet Safety Advisor
Coyote Blog
Jenn

Photos in the Wild

2007-08-06T12:44:00.000-07:00

America, What a Country

2007-08-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

How would you feel if you got a note from your house sitter telling you not to worry about the stuff in your liquor cabinet and your house sitter is Lindsay Lohan?

Even her delinquent friends would snicker and say, "Yeah, right!"

Or imagine in fairy-tale land, writing for the Poultry Gazette, Mr. Phineas J. Phox, has a column decrying the paranoid attitude of the citizens of the hen house toward four-legged, furry-tailed intruders with sharp teeth.

Can anybody say "credibility problem"?

So how is it that Newsweek Magazine can have a Muslim editor chide America about its overreaction to the Islamic threat on U.S. soil?

Oh, we're all down with the fact that Lindsay Lohan is a lush, and we're very clear on the idea that foxes love to gobble up chickens like Kobayashi at an eating competition, but mention that Muslims want to kill us all and take over the country, and we go brain dead.

That and we let life-long Muslims like Newsweek's Fareed Zakaria tell us how to run our country as if we've never heard of 9/11.

From the moment I began reading "Beyond Bush" in the June 11th issue, I was suspicious that a guy named Zakaria thought all of the Republican presidential hopefuls were talking too tough on Islam. I made a mental note to look up Fareed when I got home.

I know, I'm a racist, just like the chickens in the coop are specists, and the homeowner with the killer stash is a worry wort.

But I was also right.

Although he once told The Village Voice that he "was not a religious guy", he was raised in a practicing Islamic home according to Wikipedia, the only source I could find that broached the subject of his religious affiliation.

Oh, foul human that I am! So judgmental, so cruel, so insensitive! Assessing a man solely on his religious background? Egads, call in the thought police!

But wait. What else do I have on which to judge him? If I had something else--a personal relationship--I might think differently. My point is that it is folly to even consider a man with such sympathies a credible source for how we choose to handle a fight for our lives.

That Newsweek Magazine bosses didn't say, "Well, hold on, don't you think Americans will wonder about a Muslim giving advice on Muslims" speaks to Newsweek's pomposity.

That Any American would accept the assessment of someone whose motives bear questioning, shows how scary naive we are.

An Evening with Rush

2007-08-02T09:57:00.001-07:00

I don't know very many people who's favorite talk show host and favorite rock band share the same name.

I went to my first Rush concert in 26 years last night and boy was it interesting. The Canadian rock trio--most of whom will qualify for senior discounts at Denny's by next year--did not disappoint with a three-hour show in Mountain View, CA.

But almost as interesting to me was watching the interesting contrasts in the fans who came to see the band in it's 33rd year. Oh, how I wish I had my camera!

This is the first concert I've been to where fans needed a cane because they were old, not because they were milking the workers comp system in California.

There were leather-clad motorcycle gangers, but no gang bangers.

Man, I wish I had a camera.

There was an abundance of ear plugs (for hearing protection), but no plugged ears (for stretching out holes in lobes).

There were (what looked like) no-account hippies sitting next to accountants.

Since we were in Silicon Valley, dudes who looked like they still lived in their parents' basement rubbed elbows with millionaires who built computers in their parents' basement.

Man, I wish I had a camera

Drug use was evident, but there might have been more people on heart medication than there was smoking pot.

There were mid-back length, gray-haired comb overs playing air guitar next to neatly trimmed get-the-gray-out Grecian Formula business men.

I saw wrinkled 70's era concert tour t-shirts next to button-downs, khakis, and penny loafers.

Man, I wish I had a camera.

Other observations:

What kind of mental midget gets a kick out of seeing their text messages on the big screen above the stage? I didn't see very many Jr. highers, but listen to these nuggets that people felt compelled to text for all to see:

"They totally rock," "Yo," "Awesome," "It's, like, wow." "You rock!"

My wife said that we have reached the summit of cheap thrills.

Back from the Big Trees

2007-07-31T19:39:00.001-07:00

Well, we survived camping, meaning we all came back alive.

Actually the camping part was very nice; it was the complaining teenagers and the energy-that-they-should-bottle 6-year-old that made it a bit taxing at times.

The picture you see is of a big tree. I have many pictures of big trees. The name of the campground is Calaveras Big Trees State Park. When I get settled around here, i.e. finish getting the dirt out of everything, I will post more and tell more.

Gone Camping

2007-07-28T21:50:00.000-07:00

Well I'm off on a trip that I always refer to as "real life, only harder".

We are leaving for Calaveras Big Trees State Park in Northern California for a couple days of roughing it. I promise I will have some pictures to post when I get back, and hopefully an interesting anecdote or two.

Trick for more Tips

2007-07-26T17:51:00.000-07:00

The new issue of the magazine Wired has an interesting idea that I will be looking to try: Research shows that the picture of a face or simply eyes on a donation jar for the office coffee or a tip jar will raise the contents of the jar over 30 percent.

Apparently, even though it is just a picture, subconsciously the idea that one is being watched is apt to increase one's generousity.

I wonder if putting a picture of eyes on a time sheet to payroll will have the same effect?

Bad Idea Jeans

2007-07-25T14:15:00.000-07:00

Is there anybody out there besides me and my wife who remembers that faux Saturday Night live commercial?

Bad Idea Jeans is a parody of the pretentious blue jean commercials of the time and it features a group of middle age guys in jeans hanging out. Each of them makes a statement of questionable wisdom that is followed by the words bad idea appearing on the screen. Here's an example:

"Well, he's an ex free-base addict, and he's trying to turn around, and he needs a place to stay for a couple of months."

"Now that I have kids, I feel a lot better having a gun in the house."

You get the idea. Anyway, all of that reminiscing was only to talk about what they are doing beginning this month in Illinois to stem the number of high school dropouts and unexcused absences.

A student in Illinois who misses 18 days of school, drops out, or is expelled will not be allowed to have a driver's license.

Bad Idea Jeans

As a teacher, I question the wisdom of such an incentive to keep people in school. In my opinion, if they don't want to be there, they should stay home. We don't need people whose likely behavior problems muck up the works in our classrooms.

There is nothing more frustrating to me than having to see the kids who know how to work and behave sitting there while I have to deal with those who don't. As a parent it riles me to no end that my kid--the good one--is being shortchanged because so much time is being devoted to someone who doesn't want to be there. (In fact, that is why my son is going to test out of H.S. and go straight to community college.)

I am all for working with kids and trying to reach them with the benefits of an education, but there has to be a point when you leave them to the logical consequences of their actions and direct your efforts towards the ones who show some promise.

It would be better if we had alternative programs for people who have proven that they are not suited to learning in the traditional institutional manner. We need trade schools where these kids will excel and experience success.

Taking away their licenses to keep their problems within the general population?

Bad Idea Jeans.

Mother May I?

2007-07-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

Since it took nearly a year for a man to get a hip replacement, the very liberal Surpreme Court of Canada allowed a man to pay for his own health care.

Whoa. Let's stop right there. They ALLOWED him to pay for his own health care?!

How can anybody read those words and not shudder? Think about substituting some other words in place of health care:

*They allowed him to pick which shirt he would wear on Sundays.

*They allowed him to put sliced bananas on his Post Toasties.

*They allowed him to mow his lawn.

Allow me to recommend this blog where you can (as long as the government allows it) read the truth about universal health care.

Scripted Non-scriptedness

2007-07-23T08:41:00.000-07:00

In the world of politics, even user-generated content ends up being the same old same old.

Tonight's YouTube/CNN Democratic debate has the alluring novelty of offering up the candidates performing without a net, open to the whims and wisdom of actual people asking actual questions rather than softballs placed on a t-ball stand by a complicit media.

This is not going to be any different than the many townhall events where people stand up and ask questions. That the questions will be submitted on YouTube is just a gimmick. They will still be the questions that CNN wants asked, candidates warned ahead of time.

If I was able to ask questions, these might be among them:

Mr. Barack Hussein Obama, is it true that you were educated in a Muslim school in Indonesia for four years? Why havn't you spoken about that very much? How do you think that aspect of your upbringing will affect your attitude toward rising threats from Islam?

Mrs. Hilary Clinton, how big a priority are you going to make universal health care?
What would you say to the people who want no part in the government telling them how they must handle their health anymore than they want the government telling them where to buy their groceries?

Mr. John Edwards, How can you say that a war against people who seek our annihilation is simply a bumper sticker war? Do you have a Edwards '08 bumper sticker? Is your campaign a bumper sticker or a plan?

Readers, I am sure you can do better than I. What questions would you ask the Democratic candidates if a miracle occurred and actually let some questions get through?

Googly-eyed Parents

2007-07-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

Way back when the Internet was just a gleam in Al Gore's eye, I wanted to name my first-born son, Hercules, because we would probably call him Herky for short and Herky rhymes with our last name. Needless to say, my wife didn't like the idea.

Now, because of Al Gore's glorious invention, people are purposely giving their kids unusual names so that they will be found in Google searches.

I was ahead of my time.

This article in the Wall Street Journal talks about the phenomenon where googly-eyed parents are selecting baby names based on their favorite search engines.

The article has the interesting story of what Abigail Garvey decided to name her baby when she was married and became Abigail Wilson. Ms. Wilson's research papers were suddenly very hard to find and she didn't want the same fate to befall her newborn.

They named him Kohler, which I thought was a type of toilet.

And my wife didn't like Hercules.

Hilarious Message Mix-up

2007-07-21T11:04:00.000-07:00

I was doing some cleaning today when I came across a piece of paper that reminded me of a great story that occurred this past Christmas.

In keeping with my habit of not asking for anything substantial for Christmas--after all, I am paying for it anyway--I gave my wife a wish list that included Big Tex Hot 'N Spicy Jelly Beans.

These are the ultimate jelly bean. They are about the size of a unshelled peanut, and boy are they H-O-T. They are like Hot Tamales on steroids.

Yum.

Anyway, I got a five-pound bag of them for Christmas and I opened the box as we sat around the tree that glorious morning. My wife had the option of including a note much like you would do if you sent flowers to someone, so she did:

"Mother, I hope these bring back many fond memories! Love, Joy"

Obviously this is not the note I was supposed to get with my red hot jelly beans. I thought it was funny that I got a note not addressed to me, but my wife REALLY thought it was funny for some reason.

When she finally recovered, she told me what Joy's mother probably got on her Christmas greeting:

"Merry Christmas, to one hot tamale."

Photo Shop Practice

2007-07-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

I took a couple of photos just to practice my newfound and very slowly developing photoshop skills. I have been at a Technology for Teachers class all week learning how to build web pages and use photoshop. In the above picture, that boat used to be red and there used to be a pole in the foreground. With the flower,, I just messed with some filters and colors.

I took my 14-year-old with me today and it turned out he knew more than the instructors. Of course.

Parents Who Pony Up

2007-07-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

What kid doesn't want his own pony?

In Modesto, CA, yesterday, two teenagers are in protective custody and their parents (cough, cough) are in jail for allowing him to live in a house filled with animal feces and flies. Oh, that's because of the horse in the house and the seven dogs.

"The animals had defecated everywhere; the waste was described as "ankle deep" by animal control supervisor John Bear," according to the Modesto Bee.

Yes, this is the second time in a week I have blogged about excrement (I know, it's a crappy blog), but I couldn't pass this up.

A pony in the house along with seven dogs! Oh, check out the link for pictures.

The Government's Fault?

2007-07-17T21:13:00.000-07:00

There is an interesting--and long--article in the L.A. Times about people who contracted Aids as infants at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

It turns out that in the early 80's blood wasn't yet screened for the virus and there were hundreds of newborns infected through blood transfusions.

A sad, gut-wrenching situation indeed.

The surpising and amazing thing is that some of those people are looking to get some money out of this--not suing the hospital (you would expect that), but via compensation from the U.S. Government.

A bill giving hemophiliacs $100,000 compensation already has taken effect, but the bill to do the same for infants did not.

Is it just me, or does anybody else think this is just bizarre?

What possible responsibility does the government bear in cases like these? Is it because the disease is Aids, that they are able to push this through? People don't get money from the government when they contract an infection while hospitalized.

And you know that the "government" actually means me and you.

TV on TV and in the Movies

2007-07-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

Once my mind gets latched onto something, I seldom let go of it.

Just like some people get hung up on the proper way to hang a toilet paper roll or squeeze a tube of toothpaste, I have my pet peeves.

One of them involves the way television is used on television or in movies.

Why is it that every time there is a scene with people watching TV, they ALWAYS turn it off after the point where they see something or hear something that is part of the plot?

This just isn't the way it happens in real life. If you see something that you have been waiting for on the news, you don't turn it off before discussing it. Go ahead, pay attention and you will see that in any scene where what's on TV plays a part, they turn it off right away.

I know, there are times when the TV is on in the background of a scene, but if someone gets upset about something on the tube, they always turn it off and vent; they never keep it on.

For as long as I can remember, I have had that question. My wife knows that I am going to ask it every time we see a movie and it happens. I'm annoying that way.

Any theories?

Out of the Loop

2007-07-15T21:17:00.000-07:00

It looks like the new Harry Potter installment is going gangbusters at the box office.

I have never seen a Harry Potter movie. I have never read a Harry Potter book.

Am I missing out?

I know plenty of adults who love these books and heartily urge me to read them, but I just can't do it. I don't know if somewhere in my subconscious I think they are "kid" books, or if it's that I generally don't like fantasy. I can always think of something else to read besides Harry Potter.

Any of you out there have an opinion?

That Dirty Dog: a Story

2007-07-14T22:25:00.000-07:00

My dog is a four-legged Houdini.

I've never put him in a straight jacket, but he seems to escape my back yard no matter how many times I screw those fence boards back in.

So yesterday I had just put him in the yard and bolted the gate, and no sooner had I walked 10 feet, then he scampered past me down the street. Knowing by now that it was fruitless to call him, I just hopped in the car to run him down--I mean, follow him.

You see, he is an easy dog to catch if you just open up the car door. Pull up alongside of him and he jumps right in because he somehow hasn't figured out that it is a trap and his fun is over.

But yesterday, it was he who had the last laugh.

I located him after driving a ways down the block and pulled up with the door open to receive him. He jumped right in as planned, but I soon had the feeling that something wasn't quite right. As a matter of fact, it wasn't right at all!

It turns out I had just let a dog who was covered in crap jump into my lap and scoot around in my car!

And that's not all: Now that I had the dog, I had to hold onto him so he didn't escape again, but while I was hugging this feces with four legs, I couldn't reach the door to close it!

Finally, I turned off the ignition and put the car in park in the middle of the street so I could take my foot off the pedal and lean over to close the door.

Then I could enjoy my ride home with my dirty dog! (No, I have no idea how he got doo doo all over his neck and right side.)

The End

The Proof

2007-07-12T18:06:00.000-07:00

Remember this day if you ever hear me say that I am cheap and you are tempted to think I am just exaggerating.

Today I needed new plugs and switches for the hall that has been newly painted. I had already gotten the covers, but forgot that if you were changing from ivory to white, you have got to change both.

So I went back to Home Depot to get the white switches to match the white covers. I thought each plug or switch would be a couple bucks, four, tops, for some of the fancy ones.

While I could get a regular on/off switch for about $1.50, I found out that I needed two four-way switches and those were $11.28 a piece. No matter how long I stood in front of the shelf looking for an alternative, they were still $11.28.

No way I was going to pay that so that the little toggle thingy would be white; I mean, there had to be barely more than an inch of surface area that was white!

My son had come with me to see if they made special paint for plastic. Even though I had worked for Home Depot 13 years, I didn't recall that we had one solely for that purpose, but we did, in a spray can.

I decided that I was going to pay $4.77 for a can of white paint and paint all of the switches I already had.

Guess what? It looks fantastic and I saved about 25 bucks!

Like a Gold Ring in a Pig's Snout

2007-07-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

If you can't do anything right, hire a marketing firm--that's what Pittsburgh Public Schools is doing.

Oops, sorry, make that Pittsburgh Schools because the marketing consultant thought they could improve their image by ditching the word public.

This is just wrong.

First of all, if I were a tax-paying resident of Pennsylvania, I would be outraged that my money was going toward mere window dressing instead of actual academic needs.

Second of all, if students weren't educated in an appropriate manner, maybe they should drop the word school.

One Job the British Won't Do

2007-07-11T23:04:00.000-07:00

I think I am pretty good at putting two and two together.

Just watch me:

Eight of the terror suspects in Britain's latest scare are doctors.

+

Britain has had its National Health Services, i.e., government-run health care, for sixty years.

=

Government health care played a role in opening up Britain to terrorists.

Now I knew this was the case last week, but couldn't find any source other than myself to corraborate it. Who would believe me?

Now I have found commentator Mark Steyn and the New York Sun.

It turns out that (egads!) since the inception of nationalized health care, being a doctor is not such an attractive option for the British, so they have to import them.

That's right, in America we can't get Americans to pick our fruits; in Britain, they can't get the British to diagnose flus.

Steyn writes that 40% of Britain's doctors were trained elsewhere. With such an aversion to working in medicine among the locals, the authorities pretty much have to go begging.

Good God, look what the cat drug in! So you know where this is going, right? Two of the London bombers were brought in to solve the doctor shortage and were given fast-track immigration, not even needing a work permit!

That, my friends, is how national health care in Britain has contributed to the country's terror problem. But don't take my word for it, go read the Steyn article yourself!

I'm a Madman!

2007-07-10T12:12:00.000-07:00

I dare you to find someone more obsessive about email than I am.

I treat my inbox like a man with a mallet trying to knock down the furry moles in the arcade game, whack-a-mole.

As soon a new email sticks its head up, it is my goal to deal with it: either delete it, file it in a folder, or respond to it.

I am so nuts that I almost feel physically ill if I open Outlook and see a long line of new messages. The worst is when I can't decide what to do with one of them and I opt to keep it right there to taunt me.

It's with those things in mind that I sympathize with people and companies looking to get a handle on email gone wild. Fast Company had an article in the current issue about how various companies are "whacking the moles" that chew into their productivity.

They say that the average corporate email account receives 18 MB of stuff daily, and that number is expected to grow to 28 MB a day by 2011.

Capital One deals with that crushing tsunami by putting employees through an email management workshop, and it estimates that it saves 11 workdays a year. Some of the keys to their training is teaching employees to write more specific subject lines, using bullet points, underlining, and bolding.

Union Bank tames its email moles by using RSS feeds so that all of its 10,000 employees don't get every email. A new system (called KnowNow) will send RSS feeds based on job description and location.

Finally, Rueters uses a hybrid system of email and instant messages to keep the inboxes from overflowing.

Anybody out there have any personal strategies that work for you? Personally, I will just keep my handy mole-smashing mallet of a delete key at the ready for Option Number One.

Feeling Sentimental

2007-07-10T01:22:00.000-07:00

Is it possible to ever have friends as dear as those with whom you grew up or went to school?

Every time I go down to Southern California, I return in a melancholy mood that I attribute to a feeling of loss. I miss the places where I grew up and bemoan the changes that have taken place in the 13 years I have been gone, but mostly I think I miss the people.

Maybe it is different for others, but for me, I am certain that I will not have friends like those I left behind. Even though I have met a number of wonderful people here in Northern California, I don't think you can ever feel that bond like you do if you didn't go to junior high with someone.

If I would have known that it would be this difficult, I never would have left.

Be Back Soon

2007-07-07T09:22:00.000-07:00

My parents are celebrating their 50th anniversary this weekend, so I will be out of touch for a few days. Please come back later, I have some interesting things to write about. Unfortunately, Blogger doesn't have a future posting option.

Mrs. UGN's Brilliant Observation

2007-07-07T09:20:00.000-07:00

What percentage of Islam wants to see us annihalated? One percent? Ten Percent? More? Less?

I heard some expert on the radio the other day saying that her conservative estimate is that twenty-five percent of the Muslim world is of the radical kind.

As we debate how to handle terrorism in these days of political correctness, I want to propose that it doesn't matter how small the number of bad guys is, we just need to stop them before they get us.

My brilliant wife, Mrs. Ugly Naked Guy, observed that if it was a very tiny minority of Muslims, then we have to work all the harder, with even more scrutiny to thwart them. Using the needle-in-the-haystack example, Mrs. UGN said that when what you are looking for is really rare, you have to expend exceptionable effort to make sure you are successful.

She said that you would have to sit on that haystack until you find what you are looking for.

We sensitive Americans are taking the opposite approach: we ignore the haystack and even pretend that it would be foolish to look in the haystack.

Even if we happen to get stuck with the needle, we still manage to quickly go back to ignoring that there is something worth looking for in the haystack!

Water Follies

2007-07-06T11:20:00.001-07:00

A favorite drink of the more-environmental-than-thou club (and others who just think it's cool) is Fiji bottled water.

Surprisingly enough, this water actually comes from Fiji--but not easily.

Not only is Fiji an 18-hour plane ride and a four-hour truck trip away, but before it hits our grocery store shelves, it has to make that trip twice because the bottles are not made in Fiji.

This is just a small example of the tantalizing and amusing tidbits in this Fast Company article about the bottled-water industry and the people who support it.

It you are an environmentalist or you know someone who you would like to needle with tales of the huge carbon footprint their precious wa-wa is leaving on its way to their mouths, you have got to read this article.

If you are interested in how Americans came to pay so much money for something that is available for nada, you might be interested in this too. Here is my favorite part:

"You can buy a half-liter Evian for $1.35--17 ounces of water imported from France for pocket change. That water seems cheap, but only because we aren't paying attention.

"In San Francisco, the municipal water comes from inside Yosemite National Park. It's so good the EPA doesn't require San Francisco to filter it. If you bought and drank a bottle of Evian, you could refill that bottle once a day for 10 years, 5 months, and 21 days with San Francisco tap water before that water would cost $1.35. Put another way, if the water we use at home cost what even cheap bottled water costs, our monthly water bills would run $9,000."

If you are interested in "the way things work" this might prove to be an interesting read.

Putting Money on It

2007-07-05T14:28:00.000-07:00

Do you value your opinions enough to bet your own money on it?

If you do, then you might want to check out something that I discovered today called prediction markets.

A prediction market is a lot like the stock market except instead of putting your money on which stocks will perform the best, you can put your money where your mouth is and help predict who will win the 2008 Presidential Election.

It is an exiting idea that, frankly, has majorly distracted me from making a Photo Story CD for my parents' fiftieth anniversary--sorry Mom, Dad, I will get it done, I promise.

Not only can you invest in the future as it pertains to elections, but you can wager on whether Osama Bin Laden will be captured, speculate on how many Atlantic hurricanes their will be this season, put money on who will win the World Series, or cast your vote on whether we will see a recession before 2007 is out.

Not only do prediction markets afford you the opportunity to make money off the accuracy of your convictions, but they are also very good sources for predicting actual future events. It doesn't take much of a web search to find out that prediction markets are no worse (and often better) than polls in picking winners in elections.

Right now I am playing with fake money on TradeSports which allows you to put your wisdom and the wisdom of the masses to the test in predicting the outcome of sporting events. I "bought" 10 contracts at a price of 69 before the Florida/San Diego MLB game started today.

What that means is that at that point in time, 69 percent of the speculators thought the Padres would win. As the game went on, the number fluctuated just like in the stock market. I could have sold my contract for 71 at one point and earned a profit. As the Padres fell behind, the going rate was 17 and I could have bought at that price if I was convinced that it would later rise with a Padre comeback.

If the Padres had won the game (they didn't), the price would have been 100. At the price I purchased (69), I would have made 31 points, with each point being worth 10 cents. I would have won $3.10 times the number of contracts (like shares) I had purchased. Since the Padres lost, I lost $6.90 times the number of contracts I purchased.

Whatever prediction one puts one's money on--what level the Dow Jones hits this year, who will be the first Republican to drop out of the race, etc.--the contract has a time when it is over. If the prediction comes true, the final price is 100. If it doesn't come true, the price is 0.

I don't know that I will ever do this for real money (it's highly doubtful), but the sheer predictive power of these markets makes me want to watch. Right now Hilary Clinton is trading at 24 and Rudy Guiliani is second, trading at 18. This means that the market feels the chances are 24 percent that Hilary will be president in 2008.

If you have never heard of TradeSports or InTrade (which accepts contracts for non-sporting predictions), I suggest you check it out.

I bet you find it interesting.

Happy 4th!

2007-07-04T14:03:00.001-07:00

As we celebrate the impossible miracle that is the United States of America, here is something to ponder, courtesy of my sister-in-law who forwarded it to me:

1. COWS, 2. THE CONSTITUTION, and 3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

COWS- Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? Not only that, but they have the ability to track that cows calves too.

So if we can do that, how is it that nobody can locate the 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country? Maybe we should give them all a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION-They keep talking about drafting a constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore. (Ouch!)

TEN COMMANDMENTS-The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse.....You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians--- it creates a hostile work environment.

Sealing their own Fate

2007-07-03T18:45:00.000-07:00

Apparently New British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has a death wish for his country.

In a stunning example of how not to deal with terrorism, Brown has banned government officials from using the word Muslim in connection with talk of their current terrorism crisis.

That's like not using the word water when dealing with a flood, or the word idiot when talking about Michael Moore.

According to the Daily Express, he wants to improve relations with the Muslim community. Outstanding! I hear that's what they want too: when all non-Muslims are blown to bits, relations will be great!

The article goes on to say that Brown wants to avoid offending Muslims and that he also wants to discontinue use of the term "war on terror".

What the incredibly dense Mr. Brown fails to understand is England's very existence is offensive to some Muslims.

I would gloat that we are much smarter in America, but of course it is not true.

Raising Hell in the Polls

2007-07-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

As published in The American, this May 2007 Gallup Poll shows an increase in the percentage of people who believe in Hell. In 1997 only 56 percent were believers, but the number is now 69 percent.

Is this one of those things that we can attribute to Global Warming?

On Aging

2007-07-01T17:40:00.000-07:00

While my wife and I walked the dog last night, we passed a house with a for sale sign. The agent's name on the sign was Steve Swanger.

I wonder if he used to be a Swinger.

What a Dumb Law!

2007-07-01T16:41:00.000-07:00

After church today we stopped by a roadside vegetable stand to get some corn and cherries. My daughter wanted to know if we could buy her something to drink, but we were told that county regulations forbid the business from selling cold drinks.

You will never guess in a million years why they can't sell a can of cola. Go ahead, try. Give up?

drum roll
drum roll
drum roll
drum roll
drum roll

Ready to hear the answer?

dramatic pause (though I was going to say drum roll, huh?)

They are forbidden to sell a can of coke or a bottle of water because their business doesn't have a bathroom.

Who thinks this stuff up?

Where's Waldo?

2007-06-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

It seems that the British authorities are about as good as we are at giving clear, actionable directives, because everything I hear in the wake of three car bombs is either contradictory or mysteriously vague.

Do they want to catch anybody?

For instance, people are told to be vigilant, but not to be vigilantes.

My 11-year-old daughter heard me thinking aloud about what specifically being "vigilant" might mean, and she said "maybe they want people to be extra sure that they wash their hands well."

Or maybe it means to make sure you are wearing clean underwear with your name written inside just in case one of those bombs does go off--Mum's advice is so timeless.

British Home Secretary Jacqui Smith also said citizens should "report anything suspicious" and "be alert at all times" because the threat they are facing is "most severe".

Does a running man on fire at the airport screaming "Allah" count as suspicious? Is that something we should call in?

What about before we get to that point? What are the early warning signs that an SUV driver is going to ram a highly-crowded public area and turn himself into a fireball? Could you give us a few more clues?

I guess at this point, at least we know to be suspicious of cars. What do they want, panic or help in finding the people responsible?

Why haven't they broadcast that "crystal clear" image of the one suspect all over the country? People could be looking for that guy. That's something they could do vigilantly.

Where's Waldo? How the heck do I know; what's he look like?

The "Do Nothing" Immigration Idea

2007-06-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

When in doubt do nothing?

A new article in the online version of The American suggests that the problem with illegal immigration will pretty much fix itself in a decade or so.

Now that's the type of problem solving I like: kick back and relax; no muss, no fuss.

It turns out that a change in the rate of Latin American reproduction holds the key.

"There has been a stunning decline in the fertility rate in Mexico, which means that, in a few years, there will not be nearly as many teenagers in Mexico looking for work in the United States or anywhere else. If this trend in the fertility rate continues, Mexico will resemble Japan and Italy—rapidly aging populations with too few young workers to support the economy."

Since Mexico's fertility rate has dropped 36 percent since 1990, there will soon be too few workers to support the economy, jobs will be more plentiful and wages will rise--presto, no need to come to America.

Several items are cited as reasons that the birth rate has changed, not only in Mexico, but throughout the region. Among those factors are better education, greater acceptance of birth control including abortion, and improved job opportunities for women.

Check it out. It is a short, interesting read.

Ding Dong the Bill is Dead!

2007-06-28T17:35:00.000-07:00

Now it's time to craft a real immigration solution.

Apparently the little people got to be bit too annoying. They became so annoying that men, hardened by privilege and their distance from reality, couldn't ignore the cries of the masses and even their minuscule consciences pricked at their evil little hearts.

Either that or they were worried about re-election.

Anyway, now that we have their attention, I have a few ideas of where an immigration policy really needs to go.

1. Remember the fence that millions were allocated to construct? Build the darn thing!

2. Stop sending illegals who commit crimes to jail. Send them home with a tracking device on/in them so we know when they come back. Also, demand that their home country reimburse us for any expenses their illegality caused.

3. Stop issuing visas to anyone from any country as long as there is someone in that country who hasn't "checked out" yet. For example: "You want a visa to visit America, Mr. Smith? Well, as soon as Mr. Jones gets out, then it will be your turn."

4. Stop issuing ANY visas to people from countries known to export terrorism. So sorry, but the bad guys have ruined it for all of you. We don't need any more students celebrating the next 9/11 from the comfy confines of our university libraries. Flight school would also be out of the question.

5. We should see people who have overstayed their visas on America's Most Wanted. Since Senator Kennedy can't think of a way to export them, we could put ordinary citizens on the case. The ship/train leaves once a week for their homeland.

I'm going to stop right there. There are many sensible and obvious things we could do if we really wanted to put a dent in the problem, but I am just focusing on the visa-flouters and the criminals. It is a start.

What Makes my Students Proud

2007-06-26T23:05:00.000-07:00

Boy was I surpised.

In my summer school class of eighth-graders to be, we were practicing writing and the prompt asked them to tell about an accomplishment they were proud of. I expected things like getting the big hit in a ball game, completing a difficult routine in dance, or earning their own money to buy their first bike.

I was waaaaay off. Here are some of the actual (unedited) "proud" moments:

"One foggy morning it was still kind of dark and it was Friday so I sneak a gun into my backpack it was an M9."

This one was titled, "Lights Out".

"I knocked that white girl out! It turns out she wasn't so tough but her army of skanks jumped me but I could take these clowns anytime."

And yet another.

"Jonathon started saying stuff about my mom so I said stuff back and he got mad. I punched him in the face and he fell. That day was one of my proudest accomplishments."

Just another reminder that I might have more important things to teach than writing.

Timeless Profundity

2007-06-26T21:45:00.000-07:00

One of the incredible joys of literature is the ecstacy of recognition.

I think that the biggest factor determining whether I will enjoy a book is whether it helps me make connections that reveal universal themes in human nature or connections that suggest historical parallels across the years.

There are tons of both in Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged.

Rather than tell you which historical matches I am seeing, I will give you a scenario from the book and let you discover an apt conclusion of your own. Here goes:

A new metal product that has catapulted one manufacturer to dominence in the marketplace. This is a problem because the tone of things in the country are such that the government and most of the people don't think it is fair that one company is more successful than another. In fact, a law was just passed that makes it illegal for one man to own more than one business.

But this isn't enough to slow down the success of the maker of this new metal, so The State Institute of Science issues a vaguely-worded warning, highly publicized in the press, against continued use of the product. Of course, there is nothing wrong with the metal and there are plenty of people who know it.

Two quotes from this section of the book and then I am done:

"Don't you know what's true? Truth doesn't matter if it gets in the way of the end."

And...

"There are issues involved, besides questions of fact."

So, does this conjure up anything associations in your mind?

You’ve got mailboxes!

2007-06-26T21:23:00.000-07:00

Growing up in Southern California where city abuts city and you have to drive for hours to find anything considered “country”, one doesn’t think very much about mailboxes. In fact, a mailbox wasn’t a place where you found your cards and letters, but a place where you put them.

Moving to a more countrified part of the state exposed me to a whole new appreciation of mailboxes, and though I still don’t have one of my own (newer housing development, less-work-for-the-mailman, central, numbered pods), this city kid does pay attention to how the other half lives.

And true to my the-glass-is-half-empty attitude, I have noticed the problems with country living; among them, it seems that someone always wants to mess with your mailbox! Whether its hooligans with a speeding car and a baseball bat or identity thieves fishing for your personal information, you can’t be too careful these days.

Fortunately, there are plenty of options to thwart mailbox-thugs if you know where to look. I found out about Mailboxixchange and its impressive array of mailboxes for any need. I do aspire to a mailbox to call my own, and this website is certainly the first place I will look. If I need an indestructible anti-baseball bat model, they’ve got it. If I want one with the security of a Brinks truck, they’ve got that. If I need a commercial mailbox, they’ve got that too!

I guess I could get a box for purely cosmetic reasons too—you know, just for show. If I ever get my act together and really do my front yard up right, a fancy mailbox would be just the thing to put the finishing touches on it. Whatever theme I choose, it seems clear that the Mailboxixchange will have what I need.

With hundreds of mailboxes to choose from, even if you live in a city where honest-to-goodness residential mailboxes are scarce, Mailboxischange can quickly take you to mailbox heaven.

The Tuesday Sampler

2007-06-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

As much as I detest the agenda-driven slantings of the L.A. Times, as long as I view the stories with a degree of skepticism--I do this for all media outlets--I find many interesting, in-depth articles.

To borrow an advertising slogan from AM/PM, today they had "Too Much Good Stuff" for me to focus on just one story, so I will recommend a couple that might be of interest to someone besides me.

The first story is on one of my favorite subjects: immigration.It turns out that many border towns have students cross over from Mexico to attend U.S. schools. This means that they don't pay any property tax to support those schools. Here is the money quote:

"They want the American services," he said, "but they don't want to be part of the American system."

Two observations on this: As one who has traveled to many foreign countries, I can't imagine having the expectation that I could just show up at a school somewhere and expect them to take care of me.

Secondly, I am surprised that there are so many Mexicans who bother coming across to go to school because in my experience they are not that interested in eduction. The vast majority of my students show no desire to pick up a pencil, let alone sneak past the border.

But don't take my anecdotal evidence of how Mexicans often place a low priority on education. Read these comments from a post on Laura's Miscellaneous Musings for more first-hand examples. Focus especially on Dana and Laura's comments. Very interesting.

Next up is an interesting article from the health section.

It has been at least five years since I gave up on most natural nutritional supplements in my quest to remain healthy and fit. Always wary that I am being scammed, I gave up on various products that had scant evidentiary support.

I might have to re-evaluate after this article on the herb, echinacea.

The gist of it is that that a new interpretation of a group of pooled studies might have rescued the daisy-like plant extract from the discredited list of natural remedies.

The jury is still out on the subject, but I think I will pick some up since it is relatively cheap, unlike that Airborne stuff that is also unproven to have any affect on the frequency and duration of the common cold. I guess as long as it is cheap, I will give some snake oil a try.

File under strangely ironic

The German government--which many left-of-center leaders hold up as a model of tolerance the U.S. should emulate--has banned Tom Cruise from filming a movie because he is a Scientologist.

Germany has gone through a long self-flagellation for the horrors of WWII and is usually seen embracing a much more liberal attitude these days. It is just bizarre that they would take such a stand. Oddly enough, the movie is about about the plot to assassinate Hitler.

Smart in a Bad Way

2007-06-24T18:19:00.000-07:00

In their best Mister Rogers voice, professors in teacher certification classes will happily tell you that "children have a natural desire to learn."

One teensy little detail that they leave out is that children don't desire to learn what we have to teach them.

The real natural desire they have is to screw things up so badly that teachers run screaming from the classroom. One way they do that is by messing with the computers so that the technology-challenged teacher thinks they are broken.

Here are the things they have done to computers in my summer school class:

*Used the function key to make it so that certain letters will type numbers instead. "Look, somethings wrong with the computer; I can't log in because the keys are all messed up."

*Activated certain keystroke combinations so that whenever the computer "sleeps" it emits a high-pitched lazer-gun sound. This always makes the whole class laugh and I am the only one allowed to make people laugh.

*Used a differenct function to make something called "sticky keys". I don't have any idea what the real purpose of this is, but they do it so that when you hit the shift key, it too makes a nasty loud beep.

*Made it so that the display is turned ninety degrees (or completely upside down) on the screen.

*Disabled something (not sure what yet) so that the computer can no longer find the educational software we are using.

*Pretend that they don't know how to plug in headphones so that all of a sudden in a quiet room whatever sound plays is audible to everyone. What they really do is pull the plug out ever-so-slightly when whatever noise they want to make comes on.

They have the amazing ability to do these things very quickly even though I have them seated in such a way that I can see them all. Of course, they NEVER have any idea how it happens and when I tell them that they did it, they act like I called them an ax murderer.

It is amazing what they can accomplish when they really want to!

S.F. Mayor Bans Bottled Water

2007-06-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

San Franfreako Mayor Gavin Newsome has finally done something that I agree with.

It seems that in the past 4 1/2 years, city government has spent more than two million dollars on bottled water--Newsome is going to put a stopper to that.

Frankly I don't understand how it became a city function to buy water for its employees in the first place. Last I checked, the City of San Francisco had running water.

In a way I think it is ironic that a place that is a hotbed for environmental (did you ever notice the word mental was part of that adjective?) activism should be switching to water au natural. After all, it's on the strength of their wailing that people think we actually have unclean drinking water--us, the United States of America.

So, the people who contributed heavily to the myth of our polluted water helped lead us to the idea that we needed to pay for what we could get for free.

I actually drink bottled water. I take a bottle and fill it up from my tap.

For the funny bone

2007-06-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

Apparently the guys at "The Brown" do more than throw our packages around in order to have their fun at work.

I don't know whether their planes are brown like the trucks (kinda doubt it), but they do have a very good safety record as the only major airline to never, ever crash.

Maybe its because of the "gripe list" that pilots fill out after each flight, listing things for the maintenance crews to check out before the plane goes out again.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked by P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by the engineers:

P : Left inside main tire almost needs
replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a
200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to
stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief
search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right,
and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Are You Panicking?

2007-06-21T16:35:00.000-07:00

Monday was International Panic Day and you missed it. I think it originated with Al Gore and all of those people who believe everything they hear on the news.

Maybe in honor of them we should all pause for a moment of hysterical screaming.

Photo Feet

2007-06-20T23:06:00.001-07:00

They Should Pay Me for This

2007-06-19T18:10:00.000-07:00

This is not a sponsored post, but that doesn't stop me from sharing when I find something cool.

I love magazines. If I could find a job that pays me to hang out in libraries and Barnes and Nobles to read magazines and nap, I would be a happy Ugly Naked Guy.

Alas, some dreams are not to be.

Today while I was in Home Depot buying a $6.47 box of screws when I only needed six of them, I saw a magazine that caught my eye, and I made a point to look it up online when I got a chance.

Well, I now have another place marked in my del.iou.us bookmarks--no thanks to Jon at Chimeric Daydreams who said that he would explain what all those cute little icons at the bottom of his posts were for, but never did, leaving me to figure it out on my own.

Anyway, the magazine is called ReadyMade and it is a very hip kinda do-it-your-self projects magazine "for people who like to make stuff."

I'm not sure why I like the magazine and the website because I never make stuff. I guess I am in love with the idea that if I weren't so lazy, I could make stuff using this cool magazine as a guide.

I know that Opal at Vegan Momma would make this stuff (if she hasn't already). She would especially like the sod couch (above) or the tips on recycling. These are not your typical How-to-Remodel-your-Bathroom-on-a-Budget projects.

Another nifty project would be perfect for the aforementioned Jon whose photography would be great paired with the picture book frame project.

One of the most useful features of the website version is the part where you can go back in the magazine's archives and find all of the projects they have featured. Each of those tasks has a recipe-like index card telling you what you need (including skill level), how much it will cost, and step-by-step instructions.

If any of you try the sod couch, let me know! (Opal?)

How Would You Survive?

2007-06-18T16:52:00.000-07:00

Libraries, pizza restaurants, and church.

Three places that are plentiful in any city would serve me well if I suddenly found myself in a strange place with no resources other than my wits and the clothes on my back.

That's assuming that I am not creepy looking--being creepy would be a huge handicap.

From the looks of the the advance press, Michael Weston of USA Network's Burn Notice won't give too many people the heebie-jeebies as we watch him use his special ops training to survive in the show's premiere, June 28th.

Unless you call being incredibly cheap "special ops training", I can't match Burn Notice's creativity and methods, but I think I would do pretty well.

First of all, there is plenty of food to be eaten. And I'm not talking about dumpster diving either. I once saw a news feature where people called freegans found huge hauls of food from posh New York restaurants' dumpsters. But I digress.

Anyway, ever since I was twelve years old and used to watch Mike the Magician at my local Shakey's Pizza Parlor, I have noted how much delicious pizza goes uneaten at your typical chain pizza place.

If I needed food, I would just cruise through the restaurant and take a few slices before the busboys clear the the table. I am sure this would be very very easy.

Then there is sleeping. This is one area where I do have special skills, inasmuch as I can sleep anywhere. In 1985 I had a very satisfying nap sitting on the floor of a noisy gymnasium during a basketball game in Obrenovac, Serbia. But I digress.

I would do my sleeping during the day for safety's sake, and I would do it mostly in cushy chairs at a library or large chain bookstore. I don't know that it would be a deep sleep, but heck, I don't have anything else to do, so I have time to take twenty cat naps a day. Remember, I am not creepy and dirty (yet), so nobody is going to kick me out.

Finally, I would utilize a large church to meet people who could help me get on my feet and even find a job. It might take a few visits to prove that I am not some weirdo, but I am confident that I can muster up enough charm to make friends and gain the trust of some people who do have resources.

I am not sure how Mr. spy-guy-special-ops Michael Weston is going to handle things in USA Network's Burn Notice, but I am pretty sure I can survive just as well as he. Either way, it would be interesting.

One of the R words

2007-06-17T18:16:00.000-07:00

In a moment, I will tell you of the miracle I saw today.

There are a lot of re words associated with Christianity: redemption, renew, repent, reconcile, recompense relationship...

Today's word is restore.

A man was introduced as our new pastor over the Men's Ministry and received a standing ovation. There were tears of joy.

The last time this man stood front and center of our church was about four years ago and there were tears then too. Tears of pain.

Sandwiched between those two appearances were many more tears of each variety as this man, our church, and God worked at bringing back a faithful servant to the position where he could minister again.

There is a saying among churches when it comes to Christians who stumble and struggle with a season of sin in their lives: We are the only army that shoots its wounded.

In this man's case, at least, the saying was proved wrong.

Four years ago this man--pastor, former Bible professor, husband, father, grandfather and friend--stood before us and confessed that he had been brought down by the scourge of Internet pornography.

As we tearfully listened, he recounted how this sin had come to dominate his life and pull him away from God. He was open and honest about his weakness and his inability to control his desires. He apologized. He resigned.

There's another re word.

An amazing thing happened after that day. He and his family didn't disappear. People didn't shun him, they hugged him. His daughter continued singing on the worship team. He got another job.

And God got to work on bringing him back to where he could minister again. The man worked on getting his mind back from the images that stole his thoughts and blocked his ability to connect with God. He worked through issues with his wife and family. He worked with the leadership of our church. I'm sure he prayed. A lot.

He experienced restoration.

What a glorious moment it was today as he stood in the same spot where he was previously a broken and defeated man. His confession and admission of failure that day was the first step down a long road to where he stood today.

I am sure glad we didn't shoot him.

Reflections on water

2007-06-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

Here is another picture that my wife and I took when we were trying to be artistic in San Francisco.

A growing need

2007-06-14T20:45:00.000-07:00

Since I am officially the Grinch and a Nazi all rolled into one when it comes to using the air conditioning at my home, I felt a measure of satisfaction when I saw this poll.

When my wife and kids complain that an 83-degree living room is too hot for them, I have occasionally told them that for most of history, people--tough, manly people--did not have climate controlled lives.

They don't care.

So anyway, this poll proves that people are getting whimpier (is that a word?). In just the past ten years, the number of people who think air conditioning is a necesity has risen 18 percent. Since 1973 it has grown 50 percent!

I guess I should have been an accountant. Seeing how little electricity I can use is a bit of a game for me. When most people I know have $200-300 electricity bills, mine is rarely above $75.

Whoo-hoo! I win!

Look out, Jack, here comes...

2007-06-13T22:37:00.000-07:00

Mohammed?

That's right, last year the second most popular name of babies born in Britain was one of the fourteen variations of Mohammed.

Jack. Mohammed. Jack. Mohammed. Mohammed. Jack.

I can think of no better illustration of Britain's immense cultural divide than those two names side-by-side.

Don't understand it, but I'll try it

2007-06-13T16:38:00.000-07:00

Business as usual

2007-06-12T20:38:00.000-07:00

It never ceases to amaze me how inefficient, ineffective, and inept public schools are.

So I needed the money to pay for my parent's 50th wedding anniversary bash and I signed up to teach summer school.

Today I was ready to quit.

Even though I was never a very good Boy Scout, I do live by their motto of "Be Prepared." If I so much as show a video clip for a class, I make sure that everything is set up and ready to go so precious time is not wasted.

You would think that something as important as a new computer-based summer school curriculum would be given great care and preparation. Yeah, right.

I worked over the weekend and came in earlier than the administrators to ensure that everything was ready for a smooth start.

I wish the school district cared as much. Not only was the software not loaded yet onto the computers they would be using, but once it was loaded, it didn't work.

Yep, I had to wing it for three hours; a lot of good being prepared did.

So Day Two would be better, right? In a word, no. We were still unable to use the curriculum and I have severe doubts that I ever will.

This is going to be a long three weeks.

Day Three update: I guess I am an optimist because I actually thought it would work today after talking to our district technical experts who would be working feverishly on the system.

Wrong. No improvement whatsoever. But here is the most amazing thing: the highly paid district mucky muck in charge of summer school came in to check this morning and she said, "I might have to call the company's representative to see what can be done about this."

MIGHT? You mean the vendor rep wasn't called the first day! How is this possible!

Do it the free weigh!

2007-06-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

It always cracks me up when people spend money to lose weight; I mean, to not do something (in this case eat), should cost less, not more.

That's why I can really appreciate a service like myfitnesspal.com that offers all kinds of neat tools to help people shed pounds without dropping dollars.

The backbone of this powerful tool is the easy-to-use diet journal that doubles as a calorie counter. If you can better keep track of what you eat, you are well on your way to making positive strides in your weight-loss journey.

Not only does myfitnesspal.com have great way to track your intake, but it can also tell you how many calories your activities are burning--it's kind of like making entries in a checkbook, except in this case you want a negative balance!

Another positive thing about the site is that it isn't another diet fad. No matter which diet you are on, myfitnesspal.com is your friend.

If there are dieters in your household, this would be a site to add to your favorites. It provides a supportive community, a database of over 6,000 food items, and a personalized diet profile.

But to me, the best part is that it is totally free!

Really Ugly House Colors, Part Duex

2007-06-11T21:55:00.000-07:00

Here it is, the follow-up to the wildly popular "Really Ugly House Colors" feature that I introduced a couple of weeks ago. Caution, this might make you wish for a black and white computer monitor.

Who is John Galt?

2007-06-10T21:23:00.001-07:00

The truth is, I don't yet know who John Galt is, but I am enjoying reading Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged when I can drag myself away from blogging and surfing.

I thought that I would share interesting quotes and ideas I encounter as I plow through this 1000-page epic.

Here is a definition of morality that a minor character in the book offers up:

"Judgment to distinguish right and wrong, vision to see the truth, courage to act upon it, dedication to that which is good, integrity to stand by the good at any price."

The quote is finished up with the query, "But where does one find it?"

Purely about profit

2007-06-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

I have always been fascinated by business and how various ventures make money, so this feature in New York Magazine had my rapt attention.

As you can see from the logo above, it is called "The Profit Calculator" and it consists of a series of inside looks at New York businesses ranging from a taxi driver to the Yankees.

My curiosities about profitability were certainly entertained as I read each short profile. Among the more interesting findings:

Making the rent is usually the foremost concern if you want to make it in NYC. The rule of thumb for a restaurants is that you need to pay the lease with a week's worth of business. For a bar, Friday night's need to bring in the rent money.

Small copy centers are everywhere and are very lucrative, making a big percentage of their profit printing fliers for area restaurants.

A Hamburger that sells for 5.45 at one small diner, costs the restaurant $1.75.

Most taxi drivers lease their vehicles for 120 bucks a day and hope to finish their 12-hour day with a profit of 150-300 dollars.

Sex-toy stores see their business tied very closely to the rise and fall of consumer confidence in the economy.

A private investigator has lost most of his locating business to the Internet, but still has plenty of $100-an-hour work to do following suspicious spouses around.

Publishing companies make about 50 cents on the sale of a book.

These are just a few of the items of interest to me. I just eat this stuff up. It was written in a format that made for quick reading, with lots of charts and graphs.

I didn't even say anything about the drug dealer (you'll be surprised), the pharmecuetical company, the four-star restaurant, or the dollar store.

Tell me which one you find most interesting!

Cruel and inhumane?

2007-06-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

People's opinions are split on what the right thing is.

At my school, the eighth-graders practiced Wednesday and Thursday for today's graduation. Those who did not meet the meager standard required to walk the stage (1.5 GPA) sat in the back of the gym by themselves while the rest of their peers marched to "Pomp and Circumstance" and practiced shaking the principal's hand.

Some think it is a shame that the non-grads have to sit there in shame, while others think it is something they need to see.

What do you think? Is it "mean" to make them watch, or is it justice and a good life lesson?

Indoctrination, Hollywood style

2007-06-08T21:29:00.000-07:00

I just witnessed the most obvious attempt at brainwashing I have ever seen out of Hollywood.

In tonight's episode of "Law and Order", the anti-American bias was none too subtle; it was heavy-handed, stunning in its obscenity, sickening in its hatred of America.

Did I mention that its portrayals were wildly inaccurate too? As I count the ways, I will tell you what they showed, and why it is so ridiculous:

1. An angry band of Orthodox Jews are attacking an illegal alien with a chain saw as revenge "for taking our jobs" and for accidentally running over a Jewish mother with a baby in a stroller.

Hollywood can make up some pretty unbelievable stuff, huh? Jews who are upset that Mexicans are taking their jobs? Yeah, I hear that a lot of illegals are becoming bankers and lawyers? I know, I know, that's a stereotype, but a heck of a lot more plausible than what the show suggested.

2. When detectives approach the Mexican day laborers for questioning, they all run because they are illegal and don't want to be caught standing on a street corner looking for work.

Mexicans running away because they are worried about being illegal? I wish. They make it like the police actually care that they're illegal. Most departments aren't even allowed to ask a person about his immigration status. Sheesh.

3. When a Muslim woman is found murdered and "4 9/11" is scrawled in blood near her body, the detectives remark, "Fourth hate crime against Muslims this month." The Muslim family of the murdered girl used to have a nice restaurant, "but after 9/11 nobody came anymore" and they had to shut the door. Now they are poor and destitute.

Maybe, maybe there were some attacks against Muslims in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, but years later? This is pure fiction, of course, but fiction that NBC wants us to think is true because in their twisted world, it is Americans who are dangerous aggressors in an otherwise peaceful world.

Well, I promise you there was more, I just need to wrap this up. The entire show was so utterly slanted that I wonder whether it was meant as a farce, but that is giving Hollywood way too much credit.

One of the WORST things you can do

2007-06-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

It's amazing what passes for scandalous these days.

Today was the last day of school and a bunch of teachers went to the local Red Robin to unwind and celebrate. We deserve it.

During a meal that brought to light more than a few vices (drinking, foul language, inappropriate sexual comments--you know, things we hope our students never do), there was one thing that was clearly unacceptable to that enlightened group.

Somebody smoked a cigarette.

Oh, the humanity! (I can't believe my computer didn't crash just because I wrote the word!)

That's right, when Kelley and Anea walked off together to light up, there were voices of outrage and a chorus of disgust. Somebody yelled, "Let's shame them" as if it was time for some sort of intervention (and he wasn't joking).

You would have thought they had admitted to being child molesters. It is amazing to me that all sorts of behavior is tolerated in our society--even celebrated--but let someone smoke and all of a sudden people forget that they love to say, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

It's like the unpardonable sin! Why, they're killing us all and contributing to global warming all at the same time. This is no time to take lightly the foibles of man. This is war!

I am not a smoking advocate. I have never smoked and I hate the smell like most of us do. But it never fails to amaze me how well the anti-smoking lobby has turned so many otherwise tolerant people into a bunch of church ladies.

Sometimes an Ugly Naked Guy has got to wonder...

Learning to get off on a technicality

2007-06-06T22:50:00.000-07:00

More end-of-the-year theatrics by parents looking to absolve their offspring of the consequences of their bad behavior...

A particularly nasty student of mine--we'll call him Donald--is learning some skills that might prove useful later in life when avoiding, say, a prison term or other unwanted consequences.

With a huge assist from his mother--it's always the mothers--he managed to whine his way back into the end-of-year privileges he lost because he had two unsatisfactories for citizenship.

It turns out that one of the teachers who had to deal with his disrespect this year neglected to fill out the proper paperwork. Mom pounced on this technicality and the administration melted in the heat of her scorn.

Once again a toxic parent protects a child from the consequences of his actions and another real learning opportunity goes down the drain.

Sigh.

Fun with inflation

2007-06-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

I am always wondering what things cost. I am the cheapest person in the world and I rarely buy anything, but I am curious what it might cost anyway. I would be great on The Price is Right.

I also like knowing what things used to cost--you know, so I can complain about how much the things I'm not buying cost now.

Tom's Inflation Calculator meshes both of my desires: I can enter how much things cost in a certain year and it tells me how much it should cost now if it changed at the rate of inflation.

Not only did I learn that the 10-cent pack of baseball cards I used to buy in 1972 should cost me only 49 cents (they're at least a buck, without gum!), but I can find out whether my wages kept pace with inflation as well.

This is a cool tool that I have already used many times since discovering it last week. I has three modes: one for figuring retail prices, one for showing wage inflation, and one showing only medical care inflation. The retail mode goes back to 1666 and the wage mode dates from 1914.

Leave a comment to show me the interesting thing you learned from it. I will leave the first note to show you what I found out and why.

No boom so no room?

2007-06-04T21:00:00.000-07:00

The old news maxim regarding front page stories used to be "If it bleeds it leads."

Apparently the New York Times is a staunch adherent to that practice since it didn't think a foiled plot to DESTROY KENNEDY AIRPORT! and half of Queens merited much of a mention. No explosion? (Best Soup Nazi voice here) No front page for you!

Why does the mainstream media--especially the Times--constantly downplay efforts to inflict massive harm to our country? This is one of the most bizarre things I have ever observed. Usually the media falls all over itself to blow things out of proportion and scare people to death (see Alar, Y2K, Global Warming, etc.).

So why aren't they playing this chilling discovery up for everything it is worth? I'll tell you why: to the Times, there is something far worse than terrorists blowing us to bits. It's called racial profiling.

Does anybody remember the guy who shot six people at LAX less than a year after 9/11? They couldn't tell us soon enough that the incident had nothing to do with terrorism.

Of course the overwhelming clues led to a terrorist connection, but it took nine months for the FBI to admit this and by then nobody--including the media--was paying attention.

I don't have time to research and catalog the rest of the occurrences, but please feel free to list your own if you comment on this post. In brief, there seems to be a pattern to the news reporting:

*Immediately quote somebody as saying that there is no link to Al Qaida.

*Avoid at all costs mentioning that the perpetrators are Muslim.

*If the suspects are American converts to Islam, always use their given names and hide their Muslim name until bloggers find out the truth (see Richard Reeves, the shoe bomber).

*If none of the above is feasible because the connections are too obvious, make sure the story doesn't have much shelf life (Fort Dix plot). Get it out there and move on to something really important like Paris Hilton.

Yes, it seems that one thing that the media can't stomach is Americans being suspicious of people who might want to blow them up. How intolerant of us!

A nod to Laura over at Laura's Miscellaneous Musings for the info on the Times snub of the Kennedy Airport plot (the link in the headline).

Let the whining begin!

2007-06-03T19:21:00.000-07:00

Now they care...

School lets out next week and the beggars are at the schoolyard gates, pleading for grades that will allow their children to graduate from the eighth grade.

I think the fact that I now have three mothers whining, complaining, and blaming is a beautiful illustration of why they are in the position of having to do so in the first place.

I mean, if your mommy can come in and save the day at the last minute, why bother lifting a finger yourself with tedious things like reading and writing? It seems that one thing some kids do learn is that their parents will always support them by finding someone else to blame. They might be in trouble for a few days, but it beats the heck out of actually working for nine months!

How many other years have they made this mad rush, pulling out all the stops in order to save their babies hides academically? I'll tell you how many: plenty.

Of course it is my fault, just ask their mothers.

It is my fault that one kid writes more on the desk than he ever did on a piece of paper.

It is my fault that in spite of intense personal attention--George, go ahead and open the book and get started. George, please put that away and start your work, George, can I help you get started...--I have students who turn nothing in, but still expect to get a grade.

It is my fault that I have the audacity to actually keep track of the times they are tardy.

It is my fault that the parents "had no idea" even when I send home progress reports and e-mails regularly.

The problem these days is we have too many no-fault parents and students.

Can I give just one example?

I have one student who will scribble a few things on the paper if I hover over him constantly (never mind I have 30 other students). When mom finds out he is getting an F, she pleads that I give him a C. She is shocked that I would be so callous as to not comply with that request.

She calls again towards the end of the year: She understands that he hasn't done anything the entire trimester, but would I please be so kind as to give her a list of the assignments so he could turn them in late?

Instead of saying no, I tell her that we should just start with seeing how he does with a couple of extra credit projects. I do as the mother wants and hand the student a list of extra credit assignments that very day. I explain the simplest of them to him and make sure he understands that this is the first step toward getting out of the hole he is in.

I occasionally check with the student to see if the assignments are done and he gives me a smirk that clearly says, "Yeah, right. Like I had any intention of ever doing them."

Now there is a week left in school and he is at 30 percent. Mom is hopping mad that I plan to give him an F. She says that if I had only e-mailed her the list of assignments (easily available from my website which I always told her about), he would have done them.

She just informed me that she is going to complain about me to the district. Maybe it is because my last words to her via e-mail were: "If you are unhappy about the grade that your son will be getting, maybe you ought to talk to him about that."

Only four more days til the end of school!

Next up: Refrigerator View?

2007-06-02T23:19:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I mentioned in a post that a lot of people blog about and post pictures of their cats. Now there is a lady who is mad that her cat can be seen on the internet.

Turns out that Google has a new feature on their map service called Street View where one can put in an address and get an actual view of the area. This lady's cat could clearly be seen sitting in the window.

I say that if the cat doesn't want to be seen, then don't be sitting in the window!

It seems like Google is ready for its close-up. Pretty soon we might be able to put in an address and see what is in our neighbor's refrigerator. Or how about Medicine Cabinet Cam?

Now it's my turn!

2007-06-02T21:28:00.000-07:00

I've had a serious case of blog envy for some weeks now.

What's got me aching is the fact that I see more and more fellow bloggers who are getting paid to post and I haven't been able to get in on the fun.

Not anymore!

This is the first piece I have been paid for since I was a sportswriter for the Long Beach Press-Telegram almost twenty years ago. This time I am part of the Bloggerwave staff and I will occasionally write some paid-for posts.

I had tried to post for cash before, but it seems that other such services have some rules that make it difficult for me to participate. The way I read one service's rules, no matter how often I post from now on, I can never work for them because I once had a lengthy gap in my blogging past. It's a sad thing to be haunted by the poor choices made in one's past.

An outcast no more, I have been redeemed by Bloggerwave and they are looking to accept others into the fold. Hallelujah!

Really Ugly House Colors, Part 1

2007-06-01T22:41:00.000-07:00

Depending on what I find in my daily travels, this may be an on-going series. I have two more in the hopper, so stay tuned!

Amazingly, this looks worse in person--think pumpkin or yams, except this isn't a seasonal decoration. They just did this a few weeks ago--on purpose!

Now to be fair, there is a culture somewhere that appreciates colors like this; it's just not here.

Next time: How do you think bright yellow and kelly green would look next to natural stone?

Darkness Falls?

2007-05-31T22:05:00.000-07:00

I really like this photo that my wife took one day in San Francisco. I wasn't sure after looking at it for the first time in a long time if it was day or night. The sun was a big tip-off for me though.

Silly Hippies!

2007-05-30T22:23:00.000-07:00

I just had to laugh as I read this L.A. Times article about how things have changed at ground zero for the counterculture movement of The Sixties, San Francisco's Haight-Ashbury.

Actually, things haven't changed that much at all, but the article mentions the disgust that old-time flower children have for what is going on there today.

Arthur Evans has lived at Haight-Ashbury for 34 years, but he is not happy with the current group of "gutter punks" that he sees roaming the streets.

"I used to be a hippie. I wore beads and grew my hair long," he said. "But my generation had something these kids do not: a standard of civilized behavior."

Hah! He doesn't get it! He is reaping exactly what he has sown! You don't tell people to "tune in, turn on, and drop out" and expect the slide down the slippery slope to stop at long hair and colorful clothing.

Evans' very own "standard of civilized behavior" was decidedly uncivilized in the 60's.

What people in this article are complaining about is the exact byproduct that we expect: out of disorder you get more disorder.

Instead of criticizing, Mr. Evans should do as Dr. Frankenstein before him: look down upon his creation and bellow, "What have I done?!"

As much as we hate them, rules exist for a purpose. Actions have consequences. Right and wrong used to have a meaning; you can't marginalize those meanings and expect things to run well any more than you could plant crabgrass and expect to gain a rosebush.

Silly hippies. They got exactly what they bargained for while infecting the rest of society with the same plague!

Now that is not something that makes me laugh.

Are you in the 92nd percentile?

2007-05-29T22:51:00.000-07:00

I'm smarter than at least ninety-two percent of the country!

The current issue of "The American"--it has a decent online version too--has some interesting numbers regarding the citizenry's opinion of global warming.

As a human-caused global warming denier, I am thrilled to be part of the eight percent of the populace who thinks concern about the make-believe disaster is unwarranted.

Unfortunately, it seems like the Chicken Littles of the world make up the rest of the populace. The NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll found that sixty-four percent think some action should be taken to combat global warming. At least twenty-five percent think we should at least do a little more research before taking any more action.

The magazine also has some other interesting findings:

*In 1992 fifty-three percent felt they understood global warming well or fairly well; that number has steadily increased so that by 2007 fully seventy-six percent think they know the subject well.

*Only fourteen percent actively participate in the environmental movement. Forty-eight percent of the people are sympathetic, but not active. Twenty-nine percent are neutral and only seven percent are unsympathetic toward the movement.

*As far as top concerns as a nation, only three percent cite the environment. Thirty-five percent of respondents chose the war in Iraq as a top priority for policymakers, followed by heath care, job creation (both fifteen percent), and terrorism (thirteen).

This is just a small sample of some of thought-provoking discussion in the issue of this magazine. I am pleasantly surprised with the subscription I inherited when my all-time favorite magazine, "American Enterprise", ceased publishing when editor Karl Zinsmeister took a job with the Bush Administration. Check out the link above for a look at the online version.

How to lower gas prices

2007-05-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

I am not sure why the gas companies would do this--and I am certainly against the government mandating it--but what if they stopped making mid-grade and premium gasoline?

Even when the price of crude per barrel falls we can't gain ground on pricing because of refinery capacity, so why not stop devoting 15-20% of that capacity to fuel that our cars don't need anyway?

If there were more low-grade gas on the market--the type recommeded by the vast majority of auto manufacturers--wouldn't that increased supply lower the price?

Just wondering.

I forget what this is

2007-05-26T21:41:00.000-07:00

I can't remember whether this was a deck I was walking on, the side of a building, or the side of a boat. I guess I should have made a note of it.

My laundry can beat your laundry!

2007-05-25T23:44:00.001-07:00

Sometimes the passionate sports fan in me collides with the pragmatist.

One of those moments occurred a few days ago when I was on a sports blog somewhere and someone profoundly noted that "we are really only rooting for laundry."

I don't think I will ever forget that quote for the simple reason that it crystallized and gave voice to something that I have thought about for many years.

What is it about us humans that we can be so loyal to a group of guys who happen to be wearing a uniform that we have grown accustomed to pulling for?

I really began to question the logic of being a fanatic when my beloved Los Angeles Rams skipped town and moved to St. Louis. Why do I still root for them even though they aren't from my hometown? Why will I still be a Rams fan even when L.A. finally gets a new team?

At least you can't say I am provincial.

Logically it makes no sense to root for a team from St. Louis. The only thing they have in common with the team I grew up loving is the name and the owner whom I despise.

Logic be damned, I can't stop myself!

What if the entire team and coaching staff were completely swapped with another team in the league? I've thought about that before and I can tell you with all certainty that I would still root for the Rams! Am I mental or what?

I think this mystery wrapped in an enigma can probably be explained by studying the implication of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: Isn't there something about the importance of spending large portions of time on the couch with a remote, chips and a favorite beverage?

Go Angels (red uniforms), UCLA Bruins (blue and gold), Rams (blue and gold), and Lakers (yellow and "Laker" blue)!

Nothing Means Anything Anymore

2007-05-24T22:28:00.000-07:00

It's springtime and love is in the air--too much love if you ask me.

I think people say "I love you" way too much. I think I tell my kids that I love them way too often. (Bet you never heard someone say that before.)

Back in the day, parents were a lot more stingy with the "L" word and I think the pendulum has swung waaaay over to the opposite side. I am seriously beginning to wonder if there is so much love talk being tossed around that we have de-valued what was once a strong currency.

It seems to me that kids were better citizens, more polite, and more respectful when there was at least a smidgen of a doubt whether they were loved.

Maybe that's not it. Actually, I don't think I ever had a doubt that I was loved, but it's not because I heard it all the time; I knew for some other reason. I knew even though I rarely heard it, though my parents rarely bought me anything, though I was yelled at constantly for minor missteps, though I was spanked often.

These days people don't spank, don't yell, and don't hold back on the gifts. Somehow it doesn't seem like this works as well as the old way.

But it isn't just parents and their children: teens are expressing their love for one another before they have any idea what love really means. It seems like everybody loves everybody.

People didn't toss the four-letter word around so lightly when I was coming up. It meant something to tell someone you loved them. My son is constantly telling girls that he loves them and they tell him the same.

What is he going to tell the one he really loves? Do we have a new word that I haven't been told about?

Bad student, great kid

2007-05-22T19:48:00.000-07:00

The bad news with schools is that they aren't good places for kids who are different.

The really bad news is that everybody is different.

My student Nolan is one of 161 differences I encounter five days a week.

Nolan is in the eighth grade and he does a number of things that drive teachers and his parents crazy:

He can't seem to leave his neighbors alone with his incessant talking. He often blurts things out in the middle of my lessons. He turns in work that looks like hieroglyphics--that is, when he can find the work in his backpack or remembers to turn it in. He struggles to earn higher than an F.

In spite of this, I insist that Nolan is a GREAT, GREAT kid who is unfortunately stuck in an institution that wasn't made for him.

The words, "Individually tailored to your specifications, to meet your unique needs," is not the mantra of institutional schooling, public or private.

Don't get me wrong: I place great value on learning to follow directions, figuring out how to work within a system and adapting to situations that aren't exactly a natural fit. We need to know how to get along in various life situations.

What I am not so sure of is whether there is much value in learning how to fit into such a system as we currently offer. Let me tell you what distresses me most about the Nolan situation:

Like I said before, Nolan is a handful. This means that his parents continually hear what a pain he is from his teachers, and they always have to be cajoling him, threatening him, and begging him to be different.

By the sound of his voice over the phone and in the tone of his e-mails, Dad is none too pleased with this continual struggle. It is clear to me that this puts a strain on the father/son relationship.

What if Dad focused on something else? What if he thought more about how lucky he is to have an adolescent son who genuinely looks up to him, enjoys being with him, talks about his day to him, brags to his teachers about him?

What if he measured his son by something besides his school performance? Is that what we reduce our kids to, a GPA and a citizenship mark?

It really saddens me that Nolan's dad is missing out on some precious time spent with his son because he has to constantly ride him about being something he is not.

Nolan is a friendly, caring kid. He is one of just a handful of my students who doesn't act as though talking to the teacher is the most uncool thing a 13-year-old could do. Also, I would be willing to bet he is among the top students as far as IQ.

I think this kid will go far. I think he is way too smart for the state-mandated pablum we have to shove at him year after year. He needs something different.

He needs to be an apprentice and do some work of some kind; he needs to go out into the forest and run around, exploring nature; he needs to build something side-by-side with someone who can guide him and teach him; he needs to go to the library and find something he is interested in and become a 13-year-old expert at it; he needs to build a rocket, a race car, a computer...

He does not need to sit in a chair for six periods a day, straining to sit still and be quiet. Someday he must be able to master this, but now is not the time for him.

The time is different for everybody. That's why school sucks.

Talking out of both sides of their mouth

2007-05-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

The illegal immigration mongers can't even get their stories straight.

According to a Modesto Bee article last month, there will be tremendous shortages in farm workers this summer because immigrants have recently found better-paying jobs in construction. The article says that sixty percent of the one million jobs in the housing market went to immigrants.

Today, in the same California newspaper, farmers say the shortages are due to the fact that Congress hasn't passed a new immigration bill yet.

So which one is it guys?

When Bush pondered an amnesty bill in 2004, some experts estimated that illegal immigration increased twenty-five percent. That makes sense.

But it doesn't make sense for them to wait until the bill is passed; wouldn't they want to get here before the bill goes through since it only benefits those who are here at that point? Duh.

I am sure that right now people are pouring across the border since this goofy "Z" immigration thingy will only help people who came across before January 1st.

What the heck? Are they somehow time stamped when they come across? Otherwise, how do we know who was here before January 1st and who came yesterday?. (I know, the bill says they have to "prove" they were here by then, big whoop.)

All this is pretty interesting, but perhaps the most telling development is that we have so many illegals now that they are taking over the construction business too.

Now not only is farmwork something that Americans won't do, Mexicans won't do it either!

Larry Flynt Proves my Point

2007-05-20T19:28:00.000-07:00

Talk about your support coming from unlikely places.

Earlier this week I wrote about Reverend Jerry Falwell's death and how the man was being judged and reviled for the opinions he held rather than how he lived his life and actually treated people. I said that his life--who he really was--was taken out of context like the quotes the media used to build him into a monster.

Noted pornographer and long-time Falwell adversary Larry Flynt wrote an opinion piece in today's L.A. Times that essentially validates what I said:

"My mother always told me that no matter how repugnant you find a person, when you meet them face to face you will always find something about them to like. The more I got to know Falwell, the more I began to see that his public portrayals were caricatures of himself. There was a dichotomy between the real Falwell and the one he showed the public."

I say again: it is not the opinions people hold that dictate what type of person they are. It is whether in spite of their views they still treat people with respect and kindness.

Larry Flynt figured this out and clearly will not be celebrating the death of a man he called, friend.

Love that Cheap Gas!

2007-05-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

The guy on TV said that gas is not too expensive.

I'm so glad to hear that because I was about to get worried.

That's right, some dude from Allstate Insurance (this is not a paid post, so they owe me) said that gas is very clearly NOT too expensive. This is because--get this--we are still buying it!

The smart guy went on to explain that if gas were too expensive, we would be buying less of it. What he didn't explain is how exactly one goes about buying less gas.

I can use less gas about as easily as I can use less air!

I thought gas was too expensive as soon as it cost me a buck fifty! Now that it is approaching four bucks, I can't figure out how I can use less. What do I cut out?

Do I tell my 14- and 16-year-old boys that I can't take them and pick them up from Bible study?

Do I stop going to church to sing and serve in various capacities four times a week?

Do I figure out a way to teach from home?

Do I stop taking my kids to music lessons?

Believe me, as cheap as I am, EVERY trip we have to take has me seeing dollar signs!

Maybe I just ought to relax and listen to the guy on TV. Fill 'er up!

Go Google Yourself!

2007-05-18T18:24:00.000-07:00

Come on, we have all done it when there's no one looking...

Your alone late at night. You've surfed so much that you're checking the same sites for the tenth time and you realize that it is already the next day's issue of the L.A. Times and it's not going to change for another 24 hours unless a major disaster happens.

Then you do it: you type your own name into the magic box and hit the enter key. What did you find?

For most of us, depending on how you look at it, you find out you are either a nobody or unique. I found three things that matched my rather unusual name--my real name, not Ugly Naked Guy--exactly.

Mostly I am one heck of a golfer. This is extremely ironic. If there is anyone out there bored enough to be googling my name, they will get a big laugh out of that one. I am actually a horrible golfer, but there is a guy in Minnesota who is tearing it up on my behalf.

I also can be found providing "high tech financial solutions for businesses." It turns out that I have a BA in economics and a masters in international business. Wooo hoo, I must be making the big bucks!

Unfortunately, the real me can only be found commenting about the Terry Schiavo case on somebody's blog. I don't know why out of all the blogs I look at I would only find that one, but I must say, I thought I was very polite while making my point quite lucidly.

How about you? What do you find out about your clones-in-name-only when you go google yourself?

Coming soon: What does spellcheck do to your last name?

Noooooooooooooooooo!

2007-05-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

When are we going to have our rally?

Maybe if legal residents of this country take to the streets in protest, our representatives (huh?) will get the message. I am surely not the only one who is disgusted that we are going to have yet another round of amnesty.

Sorry Mr. Bush, but I vote for animosity.

Every time we give years worth of illegals a new get-out-of-jail-free card, we are ensuring we will be pressured to do it again in ten more years. Do our laws mean nothing?

And every time we give millions who already cheated a pass, we are giving it to every relative not yet here too.

It's kind of like a buy one get ten free sale.

Even the tough-sounding aspects of this provision won't be enforced--how can they when there isn't a law enforcement agency around who is even allowed to ask people for proof of citizenship!

I've had enough! Canadians go home!

San Francisco Restroom

2007-05-16T23:00:00.000-07:00

I took a lot of pictures of these unique art deco (?) public restrooms along the shore in the Marina District.

The Purple Teletubbie is Gay

2007-05-15T17:21:00.000-07:00

The Reverend Jerry Falwell is dead today at the age of 73. So far as I know, at least one celebration is planned to mark the occasion, while media from the national news to the blogger down the street will be telling us what he was all about.

Too bad they will get it mostly wrong.

Like most public figures on both sides of the political spectrum, Falwell was often taken out of context.

I want to suggest that his was a life taken out of context as well.

We have all heard how he said homosexuality and abortion were immoral. Many know that he suggested 9/11 was partly attributable to America's moral decline. Everyone remembers the Teletubbie thing, even though he never actually said what is attributed to him.

Those things aren't The Reverend Jerry Falwell anymore than the things we think and occasionally verbalize is any one of us. We all believe and think things that can be used by our enemies to make us look dumb or evil.

I don't know Falwell either, but it is my guess that America is all the poorer because we don't know the full context of the man's life.

There are many people who are grieving today because they do.

I am so glad that there is something higher than the media that is the ultimate arbiter of a person's legacy.

Take a bow or two

2007-05-14T13:50:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture that I don't think I actually took; I believe I was standing next to my wife when she took it. Either way I was somehow responsible for at least some part of the fact that this picture exists.

And here is another...

A little too much reality

2007-05-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

As the saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished.

The Leomiti family of Santa Fe Springs, CA either didn't know that, or they decided to tempt the gods of fate anyway--they are currently being sued.

Today's L.A. Times recounts how a story that was aired on ABC's "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition quickly turned into an example of extreme ingratitude.

When five brothers from the Higgins family found themselves orphaned,their friends the Leomiti's, who had three kids of their own, invited them to move into their house.

The story was so heartwarming that ABC selected the Leomiti's to have their home remodeled to accommodate them all. The home was expanded to include nine bedrooms and cover over 4,000 square feet. The mortgage was paid off, and six cars were given to the kids of driving age.

Within weeks after the show aired as an Easter Special in 2005, most of the Higginses had moved out, citing racism as one of the reasons. The Higgins are black and the Leomiti's are Samoan.

You can read the story and draw your own conclusions. I must admit that I don't believe everything I read in the L.A. Times or any other paper, but it looks as though the Higgins siblings didn't take to the discipline standards and expectations that the Leomiti's imposed on them.

One of the Leomiti's neighbors said the Higginses started giving an attitude.

Reminds me of a time I tried to do a good deed.

I had my own gardening business and I hired a homeless young man to work with me. Being the thrifty person I am, I used to bring a sack lunch to work everyday. When I noticed that my helper had no food, I would bring him a lunch everyday too.

Guess what? He complained about the type of sandwich I made him!

I know what causes climate change...

2007-05-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.

Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?

"Can you raise your voice to the clouds
and cover yourself with a flood of water?

Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
Do they report to you, 'Here we are'? ---

This is what the LORD says,
he who appoints the sun
to shine by day,
who decrees the moon and stars
to shine by night,
who stirs up the sea
so that its waves roar—
the LORD Almighty is his name.

Verses taken from the 38th chapter of Job and Jerimiah 31 (taken out of context).

Goodbye "Freedom" Fries?

2007-05-06T18:15:00.000-07:00

After a record 75 percent voter turnout, conservative Nicolas Sarkozy has been elected president of France.

Although some solid conservative ideas seem to be on the horizon with his victory, he can't be all that smart because the article states that he urged the United States to do more to combat Global Warming.

Perhaps we can loosen the ban on the term French Fries for now, but still keep a sharp eye out for any funny business.

We are, after all, talking about the French here.

Pandering or Marketing?

2007-05-05T15:17:00.000-07:00

It's Cinco de Mayo and for the San Francisco Giants it is also Mexican Heritage Day at the ballpark where the home team will wear their Gigantes uniform tops for the occasion.

Does the Chivas soccer club, one of the most popular in Mexico, translate their name to Goats every July 4th?

Not Inappropriate??????

2007-05-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

Somebody is out of their mind and I don't think it is me.

Has our society become so base that the once intolerable has not only become tolerable, but no one even understands why anyone would object?

I gave my eighth-graders an assignment where they were to find a poem and read it in front of the class. The first instance of cluelessness occurred when I was explaining the task and a student asked:

"Can we choose a poem that is inappropriate?"

Just ponder that question for a moment.

This would be one reason why I never tell people that there is no such thing as a dumb question.

I think my response was something like, "Exactly which part of inappropriate do you not understand?"

That was a few days ago. Today was the day when the reading would be done. Get a load of the poem that I pulled the plug on (and my advanced class didn't understand why):

My First Time

The sky was dark,
The moon was high,
All alone, just her and I.

Her hair so soft,
Her eyes so blue,
I knew just what she wanted to do.

Her skin so soft,
Her legs so fine,
I ran my fingers down her spine.

I didn’t know how,
But I tried my best,
I placed my hands on her soft sweet breast.

I remember my fear,
My fast beating heart,
But slowly she spread her legs apart.

And when I did it,
I felt no shame,
All at once the white stuff came.

At last I finished,
It’s all over now,
my first time to milk a cow!

When I shut it down, all of my students were laughing and telling me, "It's about a cow, it's about a cow; it's not what you think!"

How is it that they didn't understand that it doesn't matter what it ends up being about? And don't they know that cows don't have blue eyes?

But wait, the most disturbing thing is that I later found out the math teacher loved it and read it to his own class of 13-year-olds!

Do you ever get the feeling that you are the only sane person left on earth?

Learned while surfing

2007-04-27T23:21:00.000-07:00

It is amazing what you can learn if you spend an hour mindlessly surfing on blogexplosion while while watching TV (also mindlessly):

A surprising number of people blog about their cats.

There is a guy out there who said that the discovery of that new planet this week is the the most important story in history.

Speaking of planets, many people are very worried about ours. Come on guys, earth is a big boy who can take care of himself.

Apparently being a geek is a big selling point if you have a blog because a lot of people are touting their geekdom in their title or blurb thingy.

I had no idea there were so many blogs out there taking pot shots at Christianity.

Why do blogs focusing on technology and web development look so unattractive?

Downside of digital photography: I saw at least three blogs made up mostly of pictures taken around the blog owner's house (snack boxes on the couch, socks on the stairs, etc.).

Blogs with a more liberal leaning have a lot more cuss words on them.

Blogger really needs to work on adding some new templates; there are too many McBlogs.

Favorite name: My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Most people make their paragraphs way too long, discouraging me from reading.

Ninety-nine percent of the time I don't bother watching videos that many bloggers are so fond of posting.

I'm a bad, bad man

2007-04-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

While watching 20/20's Earth Day Special, I found out just how horrible I am:

I use paper towels. 20/20 just told me about the obscene amount of paper towels I will use in my lifetime. It's a big number.

I am a bad, bad man.

Diane Sawyer also said I use too many of those plastic grocery bags. Well, I do have a whole cupboard full of them. They are just waiting there in a big clump for their turn to go walk the dog with me and be turned inside out to pick up poop. After I throw them away, the bags last thousands of years, but the poop doesn't. Poop is good.

I am a bad, bad man.

I like cheap stuff and that's bad. I should desire to spend much more money on my stuff, but since I am so darn cheap, I am forcing China to make my stuff. When China makes my stuff, they pollute the world. If only I didn't want cheap stuff.

I am a bad, bad man.

I occasionally take a shower. Diane says (I feel like she talks to us like we're kindergartners) that if I (and everyone else) lop one minute off my shower, than the state of Texas can have drinking water for a month. I sometimes just bask in the warmness of the shower for my own selfish satisfaction--it feels good.

I'm a bad, bad man.

Turns out I use electricity too. Now I thought Diane liked electricity better than gas, not enough for me to stop worrying about using it. I felt real bad when Diane took me on a tour around the world and showed me how they turned the lights out on all the landmarks. It's not as pretty with the lights out.

I am a bad, bad man.

In China they have a lot of bicycles. They are good people. I have a bicycle and I even considered riding it to work, but I found out it would take me a whole 20 minutes and I'd arrive all sweaty. I like cars.

I am a bad, bad man.

Sorry.

Sharpton Calls for Santa Claus' Firing!

2007-04-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

Maybe in his ignoble departure Don Imus will have finally accomplished something worthwhile.

If his firing means that all media will now be scrubbed clean of the filthy, rude, and vulgar, then he will have died a hero. A brave warrior fallen on his microphone. A sacrifice to give us all a better life.

Riiiiight...and Sanjaya will get voted off American Idol before the bald guy.

Unless the father, son, and holy spirit of political correctness--the mainstream media, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton--put their clout behind getting folks fired for flouting foul and faulty speech, it just ain't gonna happen.

Not that there aren't plenty of people who need their mouths washed out with soap.

Just google lyrics and ho and you will get an eyeful of the earful our youth are getting.

On my first try I got hits with those who are doing the most ho, ho, ho-ing (among other things): Ludacris, Trick Daddy, Kurupt, Nappy Roots, Poison Clan, and, finally, Don Ho (psych).

Since it is obviously not difficult to find offensive speech in the public sphere, it is mysterious as to why Al Sharpton and friends haven't taken care of this "ho"rrible problem already, since these artists all get airplay on the same channel as Sharpton's own radio program! Shocking!

A cynical person would think that Al Sharpton has some other agenda. But that's just really cynical people. I don't know anybody like that.

Blast from the past: Read my old post about the Bay Area sports radio personality who got the Imus Treatment before it became all the rage.

Global Warming: Who you gonna call?

2007-04-11T15:40:00.000-07:00

Kudo's to Laura's Miscellaneous Musings and guest blogger Gategirl for pointing out a new hysterical over-reaction to the completely natural and cyclical changes in worldwide climate, otherwise known as Y2K, er, Global Warming.

It turns out that a new bill is being introduced requiring the CIA and the Pentagon to assess national security issues that will elevate Global Warming to a national defense issue.

The Washington Post reports: "The measure also would order the Pentagon to undertake a series of war games to determine how global climate change could affect US security, including 'direct physical threats to the United States posed by extreme weather events such as hurricanes."'

That's right, folks: they want the military to be ready to fight the weather. And you thought finding Osama Bin Laden was tough.

There is no word yet on the type of weaponry that might be required in such a battle, but I would like to suggest we look into the "unliscensed nuclear accelerators" that Dan Akroyd and Bill Murray used in Ghostbusters.

As I recall, the Ghostbusters had a whole arsenal of weapons that were effective against make-believe menaces.

Let's see, there was an ectoplasmic trap which might prove useful for sucking hurricanes right out of the sky (or hot air from a room full of politicians), and the proton pack, which took pretty good care of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

Hey, if the proton pack works on giant product spokes-cartoons, maybe we can make Global Warming take a hike just by using the weapon on Al Gore, AKA, The Pillsbury Doughboy!

So, I Guess I'm a Racist

2007-04-09T12:20:00.000-07:00

Today's protests over a new proposal to manage illegal immigration caused me to reflect on my own racist tendencies and those of my family.

As I write this, my wife and son are spending their Easter holiday in Mexico working with impoverished children, but I'm for much tighter border control so I must be a racist.

Our family is looking forward to the attending the quincinera (kind of a Mexican sweet 16 party for 15-year-olds) of our neighbors' daughter, but I am a racist because I think businesses who hire illegal aliens should be fined.

One of the coolest things I have done at my church is worship in the Spanish service--it's awesome to see the passion in their singing and praying--but I'm a racist because I think babies born to illegals should not be U.S. citizens.

The same next-door neighbors have had a series of undocumented brothers live in a trailer in a side yard right next to our house. We have had nothing but pleasant dealings with these hard-working young men who often help me when they see me working outside, but I am a racist because I think illegals shouldn't be allowed in our public schools.

My wife reached out to my Mexican neighbors on the other side of us and has met with the wife on a regular basis to help her learn English, but I am a racist because I don't think illegals should be granted drivers licenses.

My son has a "band" which practices in our house, meaning we often feed dinner to his friends Fernando and Panda (a nickname), but I am a racist because I think proof of citizenship should be required at polling places.

I could go on, but I think by now it is abundantly clear that I harbor deep hatred toward an entire people group. You probably shouldn't be caught reading anything I have written if you have a shred a decency in your soul.

The Curtain Incident: A Study in Prejudice.

2007-04-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

I was very close to a recent situation that helped me get a small glimpse into what it might be like to experience discrimination.

The situation involves a gay man acting in community theater with what is otherwise a group of straight actors. By all accounts, everyone got along fine and the cast really gelled as the production moved along. Also involved were several evangelical Christians, including the producer and the director.

You have an idea of what is coming next, don't you?

It was the final showing of opening weekend when The Curtain Incident occurred.

Actually, it wasn't a curtain, but an old blanket. By pure oversight, the production team had neglected to factor in that there would be middle-aged men changing their clothes backstage in the vicinity of 10- to 13-year-old prop girls. By the third show, the producer and director decided to pin up an old blanket behind which the men could strip to their skivies in relative private.

The mere hanging of this curtain/blanket caused an uproar when the gay man refused to go behind it and said that he was personally offended that a curtain would be put up.

After two or three confrontations over the curtain raised concerns for the show's future, the producer took the man aside to see what was bothering him. The conversation went something like this:

Producer: "I hope there isn't anything we have done to offend you, but if there is, I hope we could talk about it."

Actor: "There is. I am personally offended by that curtain. This is theater, you don't bring religion into it."

Producer(apologetic): I am sorry, I am confused; what does religion have to do with this?"

Actor: "Look, I am not an idiot; I know that you go to that (name deleted) church where everybody is in the same little box and you have to be a Christian. This is theater, you don't need to teach kids that there is anything about the human body to be ashamed of. This is theater, this is theater, this is theater..."

So what do you think about my little story? Did it turn out the way you expected?

Bad education memories

2007-03-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

I was reminded today of a very unpleasant experience that I had to endure in order to change careers and become a teacher: the state-required brainwashing otherwise known as a credential program.

The vast majority of a teacher's training in California is pure B.S. that in no way prepares one for the real world of the classroom teacher, but I digress. What really got my dander up today was a co-worker's recollection of one particular professor.

I am going to tell you her name because the rot she preaches simply can't go unpublicized: Dr. Mary Salisbury at Cal State Stanislaus. This lady is so left wing that my left wing friends were stunned at her comments.

Ms. Salisbury had some interesting things to say in order to prepare us as educators. My co-worker recalled how much of her required training consisted of telling the class how the U.S. deserved 9/11.

And I guess that while she ranted about the big bad evil U.S., she practically worshiped at the feet of a Middle Eastern student in the class who was also very vocal that we had it coming to us.

By the time I had to take the class, she had moved on from the subject of 9/11, but the America bashing continued. I mostly remember how she talked incessently about her recent trip to Uganda and condoms--that's right, Uganda and condoms.

I remember the overall message went something like this: "Uganda good, U.S. bad; condoms good, U.S. bad." It was pretty heady stuff, as you can see.

Oh, how I wish I had the time to go back and take another class from her now that I don't need her approval to get my credential. It would be so much fun to say all the things that I couldn't say then for fear of retribution.

I did actually disagree a lot compared to other classes where I kept my mouth shut and toed the company line.

I remember her going off on evil corporations--again, what this has to do with teaching 8th graders I will never know--who operate "sweat shops" in third world countries.

She never had any answer for me when I pointed out that the people in those countries are ecstatic about those jobs and communities actually lobby to have the opportunity to host such shops. (Logic is not a required subject in the credential program.)

Oh, how I wish I had a blog back then. You wouldn't believe the stuff they try to pass off as education these days.

Diversity: gotta love it

2007-03-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

So my local school district is looking to hire a new superintendent and the local paper has an the rundown on the fantastic possibilities that await as the interview process begins.

I read the article anxiously to see what marvelous qualities they must possess. Maybe they have experienced success turning around under-performing districts; maybe they have some innovative ideas to boost student achievement; maybe they are financial wizards with plans to better allocate taxpayer money.

Maybe not.

It turns out that the main thing the newspaper seemed to be touting was that half of the candidates "represent minority ethnic groups" and "one woman was chosen."

How exciting.

No mention of accomplishments, no trumpeting of their superior abilities, no glowing testimonials of effective leadership.

Imagine if your favorite sports team operated on such a silly system (fake quote coming):

"The Yankees announced today that they are looking for the pieces to build their next championship team. Owner George Steinbrenner has ordered GM Brian Cashman to pull out all the stops to find a Pacific Islander and perhaps a Norwegian or two in order to improve team chemistry."

We live in a crazy, crazy world.